Saturday, July 15, 2006

It's official!

The Hazleton city council passed the anit-immigration ordinance with a 4-1 vote. Now English is the official language of Hazleton. The landlords who rent to illegal immigrant and employees who hire illegal immigrants will have to pay $1,000 per immigrant in fines if caught. I wonder how long it will be before other cities around the country start thinking this is a good idea and pass their own ordinances. After all, jumping on the band wagon is a national pastime more popular than baseball.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

And they call me ignorant.

My friend the Leather Penguin wrote about this pro-life goof who read an article about abortion in The Onion and argued with the article's imaginary author in his blog. This goof, of course, received a ton of comments telling him what a goof he is. So he decided to write a few more blogs defending his goofiness and insulting the people who commented. He even said that he knew it was satire all along. Yeah, right. I will believe that when I feed peanuts to the elephants on whose backs the Earth is resting.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

My former countrymen amuse me.

Today, several news agencies reported that Shamil Basayev, the Chechen version of Osama, was killed in an explosion. This is great news since he was responsible for the deaths of hundreds of Russian civilians, most recently the Beslan school siege. The two sides of the Russo-Chechen war disagree on what exactly caused the explosion. The Chechens claim that he died in an accidental explosion while escorting a truck loaded with explosives. While the Russian security forces claim that Basayev was killed by a bomb they planted and detonated. The amusing thing about this is that back in the Soviet Union they used to claim that Russia was the source of every invention known to man. We even had a joke about it. We used to say that Russia was the birthplace of elephants. And it seems that it still is.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

The surrealism of reality TV.

I am watching the Sci-Fi channel and a commercial comes on for a new reality show. This show is brought to you by the comic book legened Stan Lee. And the title of this masterpiece of reality television is Who Wants To Be A Superhero? And all I can think is, has Stan Lee lost it in his old age. This idea is worse than American Idle or Purgatory's Pantry. It sounds as bad as Who Wants To Be A Crackwhore? which is not a real show, not yet at least.

Friday, July 07, 2006

It's been a year since the London Bombing.

So I offer a little prayer on this sad anniversary. May the victims' families find peace. May the British intelligence find those responsible. May the British special forces separate them from their testicles. And may the perpetrators rot in hell with 72 hot pokers shoved up their asses on daily basis forever and ever. Amen.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

It was twenty years ago today...

I recently saw an advertisement for quarters commemorating the Mets 1986 World Series victory. This amused me because it is not something I would think the Mets would want to commemorate. Yes, they won a World Series, but it has been twenty years. This, to me, says we are celebrating the fact that we haven't won in twenty years. This is kind of like throwing a party to remember the grand slam you hit in little league. But what do I know, I'm a Yankees fan.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July!

We have running water again. We have to boil it before we can drink it, but at least we don't have to go the water buffalo to get some. We still have a curfew and mud on the streets as well as in the park and the fair grounds. We might not even have the tradiotional 4th of July concert and fireworks in the park, but it is still a very happy day in my little corner of PA.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

More flood fun.

The Susquehanna river finally dropped below flood stage. However, we now have a dusk until dawn curfew. Good news is that the town has been declared eligible for Federal Disaster Relief. So, hopefully, we'll have running water by the end of July.