So this is Christmas.

And what have you done? Another year's over and a new one just begun. These words from John Lennon's "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" have always made me think about the year that has almost passed, about the choices that I made, and about everything that was going to happen the following year. This year has been full of new developments. I started this blog and graduate school. My wife and I moved out of the apartment we have lived in since before we graduated from college and before we were married. And now we are about to have our first child. Also a good friend of mine decided to follow in his brother's footsteps and move back to Pennsylvania. In short, this has been a good year. These are the things I am focusing on this Christmas since I have been robbed of "a white Christmas just like the ones I used to know" by the Heat Miser.

Person of the Year.

It was inevitable. It was bound to happen eventually. I dreamed that one day my humble contribution to the World Wide Web will be recognized. But I never imagined it would happen so soon. After all, this blog has only been around for less than a year. I, The Ignorant Immigrant, have been named the Person of the Year by Time magazine. I was so flabbergasted by this news that I nearly fell out of my nice, new computer chair. I am still in shock, but once I recover I plan to hold a press conference.

Commercials.

When I am in front of my computer the television behind me is usually tuned to the History Channel. Over the years I have gotten really good at drowning out commercials, but once in a while I come across a commercial I can not ignore. One such example is a commercial for a local law firm. It shows a kid on a tricycle and then a narrator proceeds to inform you that some wheels are safe and some are not. Next it shows a busy highway with tractor trailers on it. Then the voice over says: "every year thousands of people are killed or injured in truck related accidents, if this ever happens to you call the law firm of Munley, Munley, and Cartwright." So if you die in a truck accident you can get a lawyer to represent your ghost in a lawsuit against the trucking company. If you get killed by a car, on the other hand, you are on your own.

It's official!

The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons are no more. From now on they will be known as the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees. Despite being a Yankees' fan, I am not sure I like the change because Minor League teams named after their Major League counterparts seem to me to lack an identity of their own. I would prefer the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Bombers as the team's new name. But at least the uniforms will be better than the old ones.

Jack the sequel?

It seems that London is once again being plagued by a killer who targets prostitutes. This is the third such case in English history.

Iran.

This is too ridiculous to believe. Iran is holding a conference to debate the Holocaust. It happened, six million people died. Stop debating it already.

Double talk.

Thursday morning, as I was getting ready to go to work, a local radio station announced that a train derailed causing a chemical spill right outside of town. The report also said that a bridge, under which the tracks ran, would have to be closed during clean up. I was a little worried, since the place I work is near that bridge, but went to work anyway. Here is the part that I find bizarre. Both the radio report I heard at home and the TV report I saw at work repeated the same phrase: "the spilled toxic chemicals pose no danger to the general public." Last time I checked, which has been a while so things might have changed, chemicals can not be both "toxic" and "harmless". To reinforce the idea that the spilled chemicals "posed no danger to the general public" a local paper printed a story about the derailment with a picture of firefighters from a nearby town dressed in white hazmat suits being hosed off by the local firefighters in yellow protective suits. 30,000 gallons were spilled, but I guess they are only dangerous to those who come into immediate contact with the spill.

Ignorant immigrance.

Today, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services announced a new citizenship test which will be used starting some time next year. This test has 144 (yes, one hundred and forty four!) questions some of which are a complete mystery to those who were born in this country. As Yakov Smirnoff once remarked, "America, what a country!"

Hunting season.

Today is the first day of the deer hunting season. Thousands of men left their comfortable homes for cold, narrow tree stands at a time of day that even farmers would frown up on. That is the part I do not get about hunting. I grew up, and lived most of my life, in cities. So after moving to rural Pennsylvania hunting was something that puzzled me for years. I eventually accepted it as a way of life around here, but the one thing I still do not completely understand is this drive to be cold and miserable. We have achieved a certain level of technological development which provides us with a a lot of comfort. This comfort is very important and sadly missed if taken away by some misfortune. And yet these people pay for the right to be uncomfortable. If you figure in the cost of all the equipment a hunter buys before setting out into the wilderness, this outing becomes a great gamble since the outcome, i.e. a deer, is not guaranteed. So like I said, I simply do not understand hunting. Fishing, on the other hand, is an entirely different story.

Golf.

The latest name in golf is Russian. Mikhail Tyurin hit a golf ball into Earth's orbit. Beat that, Tiger!

Snow.

Today I saw the first snow of the season. It was not a lot of snow, it barely stuck to the windshield of my car. But it was snow none the less. And nothing makes a Russian happier than snow.

Casino Royale.

I decided to see this movie despite my initial reservations about Daniel Craig playing James Bond. And I was not disappointed by the last original Ian Fleming novel to be filmed. Casino Royale was actually the first Bond novel Fleming wrote, so it had to be updated a bit. One major change, since Pierce Brosnan's Bond stopped driving an Astin Martin and wearing a Rolex, was the switch from Baccarat to Texas Hold 'Em poker. The only thing that stood out as slightly anachronistic was M's conversation with Bond about being promoted to 00 status too soon. This makes sense in the context of the first Bond novel, but it is out of place in the twenty first installment in the film series. There was also a nice homage to Sean Connery when Bond won an Astin Martin DB5 which Connery drove in the '60s.

Only in America.

It seems that we do not have enough advertisements. This is either really stupid, or really smart. Any way you look at it, it is really freaking weird.

Oh, Canada?

You have to read this story to believe it. It seems that Canadians are pushing the boundries of freedom further and farther.

Moving.

I hate moving. I used to say I did not mind moving because I moved to this country, but I did that with just two suitcases. It is a lot easier to move with two suitcases because you only pack the absolutely essential stuff. But when you have lived in one place for seven years, you accumulate a great deal of unnecessary crap and you are the one that has to move it.

Speaking of veterans.

Jack Palance died yesterday. He was my favorite actor because, like me, he was a Ukrainian-American. RIP, Jack.

Veterans' Day.

Today is a day set aside to remember all those who fought in wars throughout the world. It is important to remember them more than once a year because we owe them a debt that goes far beyond mere gratitude. We, the civilians, should honor and respect these soldiers regardless of how we feel about the conflict they fought in. I was against invasion of Iraq since the beginning, but the American soldiers who fight in Iraq will always have my support and admiration. Because I owe that to them.

The results are in.

Recently I found out that a friend of mine, whose whole family are Republicans, registered as a Democrat. Upon find this out his family told him that what makes America great is the right to be wrong. And this led me to thinking about the dynamic between the two parties. The election results surprised me to say the least. I expected the majority of voters to buy into the propaganda that the Republicans were dispensing through commercials, sound bites, and Presidential visits. The message being directed at all of us was that the Republicans, and only the Republicans, knew what was good for the country and had the ability to deliver it. And that the Democrats would either invite the terrorists to attack again or help them gain access to some really nasty stuff. It sounded exactly like what Dick Cheney said during the last presidential campaign. I forgot where he was speaking, but the message was simply vote for us and the country will not get attacked. This was a wonderful piece of rhetoric since, if I remember correctly, the Republicans were in power on 9/11. And that is where the difference between the two parties lies. If they want your opinion, the Republicans will give you the party line. While the Democrats will actually listen to what you have to say. The whole situation reminds me of the Cold War since the Republicans sound more and more like the Soviets and the Democrats like the US. It also reminds me of a divorced couple fighting over their children by trying to convince them that the other parent is no good.

Voting machines.

Since today is Election Day I did the responsible thing and voted. I take voting seriously for two reasons. First is that in the Soviet one party system there was no point in voting. And second is that before I got my United States citizenship I could not vote. As a Resident Alien I would pay taxes to support the government, but I was not allowed to pick people who ran it. This was the first time I encountered computerized voting machines. Several weeks ago I started hearing ads on the radio advertising a website which was suppose to help Pennsylvanians get used to the new gadgets. I, being The Ignorant Immigrant that I am, kept meaning to visit this site in order to educate myself. But when I sat foot inside the local fire hall where the voting took place, I realized that I completely forgot to visit this site and became filled with fear that my ignorant immigrance will somehow prevent me from using the machine in the proper manner. However, once I approached the device, trembling like an ape in front of a black monolith, and read through a brief tutorial everything seemed fine. I left the fire hall rather pleased with myself. I have survived the electoral process and am looking forward to doing it again in 2008.

Election Day.

This year Election Day fell on November 7th which is also the day that was celebrated as the anniversary of the October Revolution in the Soviet Union. See, back in 1917 Russia was still using the Julian calendar, which is 13 days behind the more common Gregorian calendar, so the revolution actually took place on October 25th, 1917.